Me vs. Inanimate

My office laptop went AWOL on me today, quite literally. So I took it out on every other inanimate objects around me: the printer, the kitchen utensils, the cellphone, the files and the petty cash box.

Without shame or pity, I would open and slam shut every other component door on our gigantic printer until it stopped beeping. It has the pathetic habit of screaming every time there is a misfeed or a need for replenishing with paper or a speck of dust between sheets. So I resorted to physical aggression and completed a job I had thought would take me one additional working day, in just 2 hours.

I used the new Rossetti silverware to fix hardware maladies surrounding typing companion. I had suspected that cables were coming loose, so the butter knife came in handy where the screw driver was lacking. Any father should be proud to have imparted such practical skills to a girl barely in her twenties.

The poor mobile phone has been ignored like the jilted lover that she is. It’s payback for the bad habit of turning off unceremoniously when I am in desperate need of directions to a get-together with friends after a long, hard week. My only hope is that I have reasonable enough friends; too many texts have gone without response and phone calls missed in the charade.

The files were thrown in the same box where I keep my unreasonably high shoes. The container itself is laden with dust and smudged with banana sap stains. I am a tree-hugging little girl who thinks that frogs should be allowed to join the orchestra. I will have to deal with the sorting and organizing tomorrow. But I really needed to victimize something inorganic (plastic folders) for the pain that trees and singing frogs cannot help numb.

The little, blue box that hold all the money for basic company supplies has been my footstool. The world worships money and so I had to make the bundle of notes and coins feel belittled for a change. The fact that I am feeling better proves that I am the champion of this battle, irrespective of what anyone (or anything) else thinks.

Can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow!

 

S. Ogugu 2012

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