#2: Reconnection

I found myself unable to fall asleep last night. Classic insomnia because December comes bearing gifts and surprises I have been waiting to unwrap for 2 years now. You’ll just have to wait and see what that is; if I’ll even spare the time to blog about it. Which I may considering how much I enjoy sharing my life with the lot of you.

I can go and on about friendship and the importance of intimacy for days on end; and I’m about to do the same so if you’ve had enough, enjoy your weekend! TGIF!!!

For you kids who decided to stay for the rest of the class, here’s the story:

I was watching some Ted Talk and it smacked me in the face like one of those things you always knew but you had not quite realized it yet. How to put this in simple English… It’s as if I had had an epiphany; one of those “voila” Gregory House moments where he finally pieces together the train of logic leading to a correct diagnosis; of course following much elimination and humiliation on the part of proteges and shear horror on the patient’s part. This guy (looks and sounds like a football coach and youth pastor) was talking about men and the many lies which have been fed to them. I didn’t get to watch the presentation to the end, but I noted the three main lies that society has made men consider as the ultimate marks of masculinity: sports, sexual prowess and money/financial standing.

Having read Tim Lahaye’s Why You Act the Way You Do, I have a background on the four main temperaments. Tim also brought up the differences between men and women: how we think and behave. In that there was something about men having 12 to 20 times testosterone as we do, their ability to compartmentalize their thoughts, their tunnel vision (which most women refer to as the inability to multi-task) and aggressive behaviour.

Tying this together with the talk by Joe Ehrmann (preacher coach guy), I start to understand why men are driven by the need to “score”. Whether it’s topping a class, making the football/basketball team, dating the hottest girl at school, driving the newest car and driving it faster than the other guys, making partner, getting the family whatever money can buy…becoming the leader of the pack. Caesar Milan has their attention when he uses this line, because it’s all about being the best, the biggest, the baddest. It’s about being the cherry on top. Well, cherry is a poor analogy, but beer froth is so much worse; and I’m a woman, so deal!

So a kid grows up having to detach his heart from his head and still cope with the girls and women in his life who have those two as attached as the foundation of a building is to the main structure. Then we go to the many changes in the world today which have had us focus more on work and money and industry as opposed to relationships in the community and family settings. Add to that that a man’s main role in a family is to protect and provide. The three main causes of marital problems, I’ve heard, are: communication, money and sex. I’ve also heard that these three are mutually sympathetic to one another; so when one suffers, so do the other two.

It’s probably a lot to put into one fish tank, but just stop for a minute and think outside the bowl. Is it not sad that the basic facts about life’s true purpose goes back to building and retaining intimate connections yet it is the last thing society has us focused on today?

Just think.

Have yourself a fantastic weekend. And try (re)connecting with someone. It needs to start from somewhere and it needs to start soon.

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