The Pillow


Pillows, have been to me, at least in my adult life, a great symbol of unshakable friendship. They carry smears of your snort and tears when we’re upset. They have kept our bums warm and properly cushioned while reading for tests and exams in campus. They’re what we use to prop our backs and legs to get ourselves comfortable during sex or after a marathon. They muffle our screams during episodes of intense pain, pleasure or madness – such as during menstrual cramps, coitus, and when the asshole ex is calling and you’re fighting with everything you are not to pick up, respectively.

It therefore follows that I think it a big deal to visit a guy’s place for a few weeks and find that he bought you a swanky new pillow. The only part of this backstory that I am allowed to share (at this point) is that said guy has indicated that he likes you but he isn’t looking for a relationship. Which stings a little because we all want to feel like the sort of woman who would make any rogue fool want to change his ways and settle down. But you’ve recently ended a less-than-perfect relationship and you could do with the company.

Now, back to the pillow. First of all, you likely complained about the hard cushion that is a flimsy excuse of a pillow for a while. Secondly, it probably took him weeks to do anything about it – he likely even bought throw pillows for his couch in bright red or yellow or both just to prove that he could do what he wanted with his house – especially if he is in his 20s with a competitive point-proving spirit and a lot more money that he knows what to do with. But that is a story for another day. Lastly, the pillow is technically his. But the fact that he got one, a nice one from Dr. Mattress (or more likely, Nakumatt Lifestyle where he last bought his milk), the very fact that he got one is a big deal. Add to this that he never uses it. Even when you offer to share while you cuddle. In my mind, it means that he wouldn’t mind having you around again for a while.


For the men reading this, you will soon realize that a lot of conversation with a woman continues to happen is her head long after you have gone quiet and walked away or hang up. For this reason, be very careful about what you say, how you say and when. Because even cynics such as my subject use actions to fill the gaps in conversation. Why? Because men are not often (if ever) big about baring their souls. So there.

This post is dedicated, first, to pillows around the world for the unconditional love that they offer and, second, to the good friend who shared this with me; because we both read so much into everything and that’s likely why we had to meet unexpectedly in the middle of the night to talk about this and so much more craziness.

To everyone else reading this, treat your pillows with a little (or a lot) more love, will you?


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