I had a nasty post lined up for early this morning. I have been waiting to rant about a few personal issues, most of them rooted in feelings of inadequacy, but I can no longer offer you the somewhat witty analysis of whatever has been eating away at me for about two weeks now. I lost the draft. I was copying it from my phone when I clicked something and lost the draft before I could copy it. Usually, I get very upset when I lose any of my original work. And I’ll be in a mood until I can come up with a piece which is good enough to offer some consolation for the loss.
Right now, I’m choosing to read this as a sign. It is time to let go and move on. The upside of taking a week long trip to a quiet getaway it that you get to clear your head and take note of the things that mean the most to you and those that have held you back the most. The romantic feelings you are struggling with. The anxiety that has shrouded your existence for years. The deep need for control rooted in a fear of getting hurt and being left alone again. The tough exterior that hides all the wishful thinking of a girl hoping to finally make a big career break before she clocks thirty.
The downside of a break from the stressful rushed existence that is often our usual routine, you cannot stop craving an occasional piece of the tranquility that helped unclog your life. I really need to figure out how to meditate!
I cannot believe how good it felt to say that. I honestly feel drained enough to lie down and sleep. By nothing in particular. So I’ll be an escapist and plug in my earphones and listen to Years and Years for a bit.