The mind of a woman has the capacity to capture exact words and phrases when she is in a highly emotional state. You’ll pick details about a day or night such as the weather and sounds around you, who was wearing what, and some random crap like that bright red Toyota or a matatu tout calling out for passengers or a low flying airplane. If you add to this mix the fact that you’re also artsy, you have the most varied color palette from which you can paint experiences. The possibilities are truly endless. It’s an intensely beautiful gift, but also a heavy burden; depending on what the canvas displays. Negative feedback is magnified and hurts deeply for longer when you possess the ability to replay the tape of the circumstances surrounding a difficult conversation with fine detail. The high of a romantic encounter can leave you craving another “hit” especially because of how wonderful the script of linguistic prowess and iron clad comebacks appears in your head – in high definition video. This too is a good and bad thing; you go through intense feelings love/like/lust and this often causes you to develop an addiction for the romantic phase of relationships. When the fizzle dies down, you’re out – running around all rife for shenanigans and also “jonesing” for another encounter.
I think you get the picture.
My last post was a sort of rant about the downside of being one of the girls that guys refer to as one of their own boys. I promised to celebrate, anonymously, the men who have made being one of the boys worth my while. I admire courage. And for me,,nothing spells courage like vulnerability.
These are parts of some of my most cherished conversations I have had with men with whom I have been, and am, friends. Naturally, some of these statements are paraphrased, but a number are written as they were said (and/or as they are remembered ):
- I’m afraid of how comfortable I am with myself around you (After sharing a deeply personal story)
- I still have your key. In case you forgot. And so you know that you can call me if you’re ever stuck outside your house at 1 a.m. (Following a few months of falling out of touch)
- I want you in my life (Quite out of the blue)
- If I took you home to my mother, considering the girls I’ve taken before you, she would puncture the holes in my condoms herself (In a drunken state)
- You’re my buddy for life (Towards the end of our final semester in campus)
- I’m here if you ever need me, if you need to talk (After I refused to say what was bugging me)
- Walking you to the bus stop is not always about you; I feel good about it too (Because I thought I was being an inconvenience, but he didn’t know)
- You’re the only person I’ve given my spare key. You’re the only one I trust with my house (A telephone conversation following a bad fallout)
- You’re part of a dying breed of women (At a party in the presence of mutual friends)
- Whenever you take off your glasses, you turn on your pretty and it’s distracting
- You have an amazing body, but the sexiest thing about you is your mind
- When I make my money, I’ll remember you (After we had been talking business)
- I was rewatching Casino Royale and the conversation he (*) has with the bond girl made me of think of you. I called because I realized the script sounded like your writing and you would appreciate the tact/wordplay… (Drunk dial following a few months of silent treatment)
- Most women your age don’t think like you
- You are pretty special
- Relax. No one has it all figured out in their twenties (During a quarter-life crisis breakdown)
- Stop shutting people out. Don’t be alone when you’re not okay (Same as above)
- You’re it. You make it (a relationship) look so easy
- You’re good with people. I don’t have that (Childhood friend)
- I feel like I can really talk to you
- Your mind is a beautiful thing (High school friend)
- I prefer you with your natural hair (After I complained about a headache from getting new braids)
- I’d be lying if I said I wished you well (When I said I was applying for school in Europe – a few months ago)
- I don’t know what to say, because I didn’t want you to go. I don’t want you to go (When the uni application fell through because of a few last minute hitches – about three weeks ago)
- Congratulations! You got in and that is a big deal (Because I got acceptance letter from said uni – almost as soon as I had picked his call after sending a text about the application fall through)
There you have it. I’ll go nurse a vulnerability hangover for while and prepare for a long-awaited sleepover.
Have a wonderful weekend, good people.